


Burning Memories

by StarlightXNightmare



Series: Septic Egos [42]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Arguments, Cuddles, Memories, Queerplatonic Relationships, Scars, Swearing, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightXNightmare/pseuds/StarlightXNightmare
Summary: Marvin and Schneep have some bonding time.





	Burning Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This took a while but I’m pretty happy with it. Have whump.

The dry air he breathed in burned a way down his throat and into his lungs, causing harsh, violent coughs to wrack his body, shoulders shaking and lungs spasming. His sore throat wasn't really helping matters either. His eyes seared, pained, irritated tears streaming down his cheeks as he choked.

_Stifling smoke... clogged airway... scalding doorknob… oppressing heat beating down on him... cooking flesh..._

The temperature was frigid, biting temperature digging its claws into his face, little pricks of cold registering in his brain. Good. That was what he needed. The cold air would blow away the phantom pain on his face. He had left his mask on his bedside table, exposing his scarred face to only himself and the night air. Normally he rarely ever took his mask off—he quite liked the pressure and safety—but it was nice to just _breathe_ every now and then. It felt wonderful to just... be himself.

An unreachable place under his scars tingled annoyingly and he itched at it absentmindedly, knowing it'd only make them worse. He'd  keep scratching until he ended up tearing the white and pink tissue again because he didn't know when to stop. The sensations he felt weren't really there, he reminded himself. The skin there was too damaged to feel something as trivial as itches, but that didn't stop his brain from fooling him.

The front door opening behind him caught him off guard. He startled, sweeping his hair forward to fall in curtains in front of his face, shielding his scars from immediate view.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice raspy and throat tight. He hoped whoever was behind him didn't point out how quiet and strained his voice sounded. It probably was going to be gone soon after all those shows and practices he did the week. Not to mention his brain playing another, crueler trick on him, reminding him of how weak and faint his voice was after the—

"What are you doing out here? You will catch the sick."

Marvin chose to ignore Schneep's first question, huffing in exasperation. "I'm not gonna get sick, doc."

The air shifted and settled as the other sat down on the top step, rubbing his hands together. "Is a bit nippy out tonight."

"Then you should go inside." It was clear with the blunt bite in the magician's voice that he didn't want Schneep out here with him.

Just like Marvin had ignored his first question, he waved the solution off. "Why are you out here? Is late." That was the annoying thing about Schneep. He was almost—if not more so—stubborn than himself. But two could play it that game.

"I'm aware," his tone was clipped. He wasn't going to get much else out of him.

There was a beat of silence, and Marvin found himself hoping that Schneep had just given up already.

"You are not this irate often," he noted clinically.

"Shocker," he mumbled in mock shock to himself. He felt exposed—vulnerable like when the mask had been torn from his face. He didn't like it one bit. Scooching further away from Schneep, Marvin turned his face to the opposite side. It was a clear signal to leave.

"I refuse to leave until you tell me what's wrong."

The words forced his seething anger even higher, magic bubbling underneath his skin. Everything felt so hot and his mind couldn't focus on anything but the surging in his veins and the rushing blood in his ears. It took all he had to keep his magic contained.

"You will," he growled. His voice shook with barely contained rage. "You don't have to fix everything."

"I am not looking to fix," Schneep said adamantly. "I am here to help."

Marvin was tired of all this. Unlike usual, he didn't really feel like getting into a long lasting argument. He rested his head against the wood rail and muttered, "I don't want your "help.""

"You may not want it but you look to need it."

Marvin loathed to admit it but (like usual it appeared) the doctor was right. He allowed a long pause of silence to pass them by as he struggled to find the proper words. He didn't want to admit to needing help nor did he want to spill all his problems on the other.

"I just... need to breathe." His lungs were full of phantom smoke, burning his chest, throat, nostrils and eyes.

"Ja?"

"It's hard to breathe; it hurts," he confessed softly. "Sometimes, I mean."

"Ah."

He scrubbed viciously at his eyes with the heels of his palms, trying to banish the pained tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. He wanted the burning in his eyes to go away.

"Can I see?"

Marvin knew what he meant by the question. The other asked every now and then when he wasn't feeling up to par and the magician turned the doctor down every single time. He'd never shown his face to anyone other than his parents, his grandmother, and Jackie (although that had been an accident). As much as he hated to let others see him crying (and his face), he was feeling unusually... weak trusting this night.

He was silent for so long he was sure Schneep had assumed he'd ignored him before: "promise you won't look away." It was the one thing Marvin feared about showing other people his face without any makeup or mask covering up most the damage. That they wouldn't be able to look at him like they used to be able to, knowing what lied under the mask. He didn't want people's ability to look him in the eyes to be affected.

"I assure you, I've seen worse." The statement is painfully blunt, but it's Schneep's way of saying he wouldn't look away... even if he technically didn't promise.

He opted to not speak for now, giving his voice a short break. Shifting, turning to face Schneep a little, he brushed his thick hair to the side. Though he avoided mirrors like the plague when his mask was off, he still had every scar burned into his memory much like how they were burned into his skin.

The left side of his face was much worse than the right, all the way from his forehead to his chin was skin tighter than anywhere else with some bunches of skin raising up higher than others. What once had been a bright, irritated red had long since faded into a dull pink. The burns on his left side continued down on the same side of his neck (which his hair often hid well enough) while the right side looked as healthy as could be. The right side of his face was merely white skin that blended into his normal healthy skin. One of his eyes looked like he was permanently squinting, the skin having been pulled a little too tight around the crease. The only reason they looked somewhat decent now is because of all the skin they borrowed from various other parts of his body to pull over and protect the healing flesh. He was lucky his jaw and lips healed up decent enough but it was sometimes still hard to eat, jaw straining, sore, and aching strong enough that food and liquids fell from his lips.

That's what they all said: that he had been lucky. He was lucky that it wasn't worse; that he hadn't died. As well as the burned skin, he originally had a huge bald spot at the top of his head where the hair had burned off but it wasn't hard to move and reintroduce air follicles—it's why his hair was thinner in some parts than others.

And that wasn't even counting all the other scars he had—on his face and on the rest of his body. Scars from messing up knife throwing tricks, magic spells and potions literally blowing up in his face, and those three fucking whiskers on each side of his cheeks that the twisted parasite carved into him a few years back.

To Schneep's credit, he didn't look away or grimace in disgust. Instead he simply stared, eyes raking over all the disfigurations and scars like he was committing it to memory. "Burns?"

Marvin cringed. He never really did like the word "burn." It just sounded so painful. "Most of 'em, yeah."

"Old, right? Nothing I need to look over?"

"Most recent is from a couple years back. They're fine."

"Do they hurt still?" The magician really should've realized Schneep would ask all kinds of questions. It was his job to know all the background details and care for others and he couldn't really turn it off well. Normally his questions got him into some kind of fight with Marvin but today wasn't that day. 

"Phantom pain. Otherwise... no." His voice was beginning to give out, cracks becoming more prevalent and strength failing. He had to lower it to a whisper to prevent it from disappearing completely.

"What's that ones?"

Marvin furrowed his eyebrows. "Which ones?"

The doctor pointed at his face. Helpful.

"I can't see there."

Schneep leaned forward, glasses perched on the tip of his nose. Marvin froze up, body stiffening as cold fingertips ghosted a horizontal line across his cheek. "This."

It felt... weird to have someone touching his face, especially his scars. He himself didn't even do it often.

He wrinkled his nose at the strange sensation. "Oh. Happened before you moved in with us."

_Glitchy laughter and mocking taunts. Untappable magic and reckless confidence. Broken mask and shorn hair. Silver and dark red._

"And?"

"And what?"

He huffed exasperatedly. "What is it? Not a burn."

"It's not," Marvin agreed, teeth finally chattering together and breaking up his words. It'd taken quite a bit to cool down the magic racing in his veins.

"You're cold. We should go inside and get warm, yes?" Schneep asked after observing Marvin curl in on himself a little more.

He sighed heavily, taking one more moment to enjoy the bone chilling cold settling in his bones before nodding jerkily. He'd probably been out here for too long already. The only reason he hadn't froze was because of the magic and blood pumping to keep him at a stable temperature. "Yeah. Sounds nice."

Schneep pushed himself to his feet and dusted the snowflakes off himself. He offered a hand out to Marvin and he accepted it, letting the doctor help drag him up.

"Come. You've spent too long out here, mein Freund."

Once inside the doctor grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and tossed it at the other, barely taking the time to make sure he caught it before puttering to the kitchen to find the packets of hot chocolate. Marvin occupied himself with burrowing further into the blanket, tangled hair covering half his face still. Small bursts of magic helped heat the insides of his veins, sending faint warmth rushing throughout his body.

After a few minutes, Schneep returned with two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He wordlessly handed one to him and settled down next to him, leaning against his side to soak up heat.

"Jackie's right." He rasped. "You're a leech."

"Arsch mit ohren," he mumbled, wiggling into a better position.

"I feel like you just insulted me."

"Is because I did."

The hot chocolate soothed his throat, sending warm tingles down throat all the way to his stomach. The packets have been expired for a few years and tasted stale but it helped.

"Thanks."

The only response was a tired hum.

Schneep's mug was set on the coffee table as he brought his legs up onto the couch and leaned heavily into his side, face pressed against his shoulder.

"It's a little early for you."

"You're warm," came the sleepy mumble.

Marvin readjusted his position, forcing the doctor to move with an upset, unintelligible mumble so his neck was resting against the arm of the couch, feet nearly reaching the other arm. Schneep was now draped across his chest and legs, head resting in the crook of his shoulder. Marvin patted Schneep's head and received a content sigh in return.

There was something nice about not hiding.

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I can’t believe I never mentioned Marv has problems breathing and speaking sometimes. (Those of you who read “Lucky Diamonds” know what’s up)


End file.
